Aging is a pain in the ________.

One of the crappiest things about getting older is that it hurts. I never really noticed this until a friend pointed it out. (Thanks, Larry.) But it's true -- if you are above a certain age and let yourself become aware of how your body feels, you will always find that something doesn't feel quite right. And that's on a good day. On a bad day, there is no need to shift your awareness because whatever it is that hurts, almost always for no apparent reason, has been screaming at you since you got out of bed. If you are really lucky, the part of you that hurts will wake you out of a sound sleep just so you don't miss any of the experience. Once you pass a certain age (30, 33, 37.5?) there is not ever a time you can honestly say that everything feels great and nothing hurts. Except maybe when there is some alcohol involved, but that's cheating. The best you can do is to not be consciously aware of it. That really sucks. No wonder old people are so cranky! ;-) They've had this going on for decades.

What really pisses me off about this is the total lack of logic. I can understand if I lift something heavy and the next day my back hurts. But why would my toe hurt? Or left elbow throb? Or wrist ache?? It makes no sense at all. I always figured at some point the aches and pains would start, but I never expected that stuff to happen in my thirties. Seems like it shouldn't happen until you retire, right?

And for any of you who have passed the "certain age" when this happens and hadn't noticed this phenomenon, I just popped your happy bubble. Now that I've mentioned it, you can't help but notice that something always hurts. Sorry. My bad.