Monday, April 06, 2009

Splat!

In the wee hours of Friday night, I got up to get a drink of water. I didn't bother putting on my glasses. Sure, I am blind as a bat without 'em, but it isn't as if I don't know my way around the house. On the way back to bed, I stopped to use the bathroom. In the dim glow of the nightlight, I saw what appeared in color and size to be a rather healthy-sized roach on the floor by the toilet. EEEK! I am not fond of bugs crawling on me. Roaches creep me out. There was no way I was gonna sit on that toilet, half blind, and have a big roach bug wandering around my feet. I was wearing slippers, so what the heck... I stomped that sucker HARD. Except it didn't make that satisfying crunch noise, nor did what was left have the appearance of a smushed roach. It looked more like a puddle of liquid roach. In fact, one whiff confirmed my sinking expectation: I killed a cat turd. A really mushy, stinky cat turd. *sigh*

17 comments:

Jeni said...

My condolences to you and to your slipper too! I can understand all too well how easily one could make an error of judgment when one is blind as a bat! I have the same problem in the vision department! Hope you got yourself a new pair of slippers now though.

LL said...

A dog would never let you down like that... just sayin'...

fermicat said...

Jeni - the shoes are clean now. And maybe I'll wear my glasses when I get up, or at least before stomping any more "bugs".

LL - Oh, I disagree. My big rottie dog pooped on the floor many more times than any of the eight cats I've shared my houses with over the last twenty years. I loved him, but he was a mess!

Natalie said...

When I saw the title and read about you getting up without your glasses, I thought for sure you were gonna step in puke, which is what happens many nights in our home. But this, this is priceless. At least it was close to the toilet. Maybe someone has a secret urge to get potty trained?

fermicat said...

Natalie - Cat barf is a far more likely nighttime obstacle. And no, I don't think any of them have a hankerin' to be toilet trained. This was probably just an isolated dingleberry event. The litterbox is only 2-3 feet away.

Red said...

I just knew LL would like this one. LOL. How do they say it, "Look before you leap?" or maybe it should be know what your leaping into? Hee HEee. Gross.

ShelliG said...

Thanks for the laugh... I needed that :)

fermicat said...

Red - yes, it was kind of gross.

Shelli - glad I could help!

BC said...

I couldnt stop laughing. Good thing I make sure I can see what Im stepping in. Most likely in my ouse it would be something alive. Not a roach but Ive been seeing those house centipedes lately. Enough to scare you out of your skin. Pretty sight that is.

fermicat said...

BC - we're out amongst the trees, so plenty of creepy crawlies here, too. Plus the occasional cat mishap.

Kathleen said...

ROFLMAO!!! Oh girl. I had a feeling one of the cats had missed the litter box. Besides, you should never ever stomp on a cockroach (or so I've been told) because they carry their eggs on their back and you'll carry the eggs throughout the house.

Kathleen said...

You need to learn how to walk through the house w/your eyes half open (I'm blind as a bat, too, w/o the contacts/glasses), that way you won't see the cockroach/cat turds.

fermicat said...

Kat - eggs, really? Never heard of that. I usually let the cats get 'em, but there were no cats around.

Jim Donahue said...

>>Sure, I am blind as a bat without 'em

But do you have sonar? Because that would be cool.

tiff said...

(stifling laughter)

Bwuahahahahaa!!

Ooops. Did I guffaw that out loud?

fermicat said...

Jim - sadly, no.

Tiff - :-/

Kathleen said...

I've had a couple of different people tell me that...I choose to believe it because it gives me an excuse not to go near them.