Saturday, April 04, 2009

Rage Against the Machine

I hate my vacuum cleaner. Yes, it was highly rated by a certain consumer magazine. Yes, the suction is excellent and it is quite good at removing dirt and cat hair. It is "self propelled" if used on carpets. But I don't have carpets. I have hardwood floors and the occasional area rug. The vacuum is big, and bulky, and weighs a metric ton. It gets an "F" for ease of use. The attachments don't stay attached. It is difficult to maneuver. I can barely carry it up and down the stairs. My use of it never fails to elicit a flurry of obscenities that would make the saltiest of sailors blush. I growl and grumble and scowl. I hit stuff in frustration. I grit my teeth and roll my eyes. I dread having to use it, because it always pisses me off and wears me out. Which is why I let the floors get so dirty before I take action. I HATE vacuuming. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

If they ever do invent that self-cleaning house, I am all over it.

8 comments:

LL said...

You could always try the vaccu-bong that I've got.

It too isn't trouble free, but I've been pleasantly surprised with it so far.

NYPinTA said...

Or you could live in an all concrete house and just hose it down occassionally.

BC said...

I got a Bissell that works great on pet hair and only cost me $70. Light too. Check it out.

fermicat said...

LL - I'm sure that would help with the aggravation, but probably wouldn't get my floors very clean.

NYPinTA - if only I lived in a fallout shelter...

BC - I have a smaller, lighter vacuum that I use for quick touchups, but it doesn't have the suction of the big one.

Natalie said...

My use of it never fails to elicit a flurry of obscenities that would make the saltiest of sailors blush.

Awesome. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for vacuum day. We have hardwoods and have been too lazy to get an area rug yet. I threw out my old vacuum in Florida and haven't replaced it. Swiffer is my best friend.

fermicat said...

Natalie - it is probably pretty funny, but I dare anyone to see it and laugh while it is happening!

Red said...

My Bissell Rocks the house on suction power, it is mid-sized and the weight is moderate. Can't keep a light bulb in it tho, that is slightly annoying.

Kathleen said...

I despise all vacuums. Why can't someone invent a QUIET and by QUIET, I really mean SILENT, vacuum?