Saturday, February 14, 2009

A Not At All Romantic Post That Is Not About Valentine's Day

I left PDM alone all day while I went to a basketball game, but I was nice enough to bring him a six pack when I came home (or as I put it, "your bouquet of beer"). We don't really do Valentine's Day around here. There were no hearts or flowers or chocolate. There were, however, a couple of very low key cards. And maybe some smooching.

So, in the anti-Valentine spirit, I thought I'd share a few tidbits about the men with whom things didn't exactly work out.

There was the one that, I kid you not, had a picture of his car in his wallet. A car he no longer owned. And he wouldn't let me park my foreign car in his driveway. Yeah, that didn't work out.

There was the one that was allergic to cats. Doomed from the start.

There was the one who was never really mine. And mom hated him. Didn't pan out.

There was the one who "didn't mind" that I was an engineer, but didn't really want me to ever talk about what I did for a living either. Apparently he didn't find smart women sexy, or maybe he just wanted to talk about his stuff all the time. Nyet.

There was the one who lied on his resume. And couldn't keep a job. (Hmmm, those two items might possibly be related.) And never finished anything. And was a slob. And extremely juvenile at times. And irresponsible. And never pulled his weight. And lied to his wife about his background, maintaining the elaborate network of lies for years. I didn't find out about that last one until after we were divorced, but it answered a lot of lingering questions. Turns out he was a pathological liar. I have no idea if anything he ever told me was true. Biggest mistake, ever.

None of these guys are PDM. He's a keeper. And that is as mushy as I will get on this February 14th.

14 comments:

Jeni said...

I used to have a big poster on the back of the bathroom door here -a frog sitting on a lily pad and under it was written "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince Charming." Nice to know that you muddled through a few frogs along the way but found your own Prince Charming. I got a big kick out of the "Bouquet of Beer" too -good one.
Funny thing too about the cat allergy thing -Mandy's husband said when they first started dating that he was allergic to cats. Enter some raised eyebrows there on her part. But strangely enough, those allergies seem to have disappeared now as we've always had at least one cat since he entered the household and he seems to have adapted to them apparently. I think he knew from the start that could be a deal breaker for a relationship for him and Mandy and maybe he just decided to deal with it the best he could. As long as the cat doesn't go near his pillow!

LL said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

You big softie...

fermicat said...

Jeni - Frogs are much better than some of those guys!

LL - nothing says "I love you" like six cold bottles of Moe's Backroom Lager.

Red said...

I agree with LL you are a softie, all smoochie and all, givin the guy a six pac... hee hee

Happy V day woman (L) (c me 14 post)
Jenn

Natalie said...

Perfect non-mushy post. I'm sorry you had those relationships, but remember every mistake leads you to where you are - smooching with PDM over a beer bouquet.

No kidding - the word verification for this is "devel". Sounds like the ex to me.

fermicat said...

Red - heading over there now.

Natalie - I'm the idiot who went out with those guys. *sigh* As for the ex, he's more of a dumbass than a devil.

TheWriteGirl said...

It's always so comforting to hear that other women have had similarly weird guy experiences. Like the one who believed he was the reincarnation of John Wilkes Booth. That one didn't go beyond the first date. And the one who broke off in the middle of, well, you know to watch The Simpsons.

I also believe that Valentine's Day is vastly overrated. Of course that may have something to do with the fact that I haven't had anyone to share it with since my divorce.

But seriously...he had a picture of his old car in his wallet? That's truly frelled up.

BC said...

Kind of strange that V-Day came right after Friday the 13th. Hmmmm.....

And I also did nothing yesterday.

tiff said...

Is it possible that we married the same first husband?

Thanks for sharing - good to know that even smart chicks can make dumb man decisions!

Dianne said...

sounds like a great Valentine day to me

I think we dated the same men ;)

Kathleen said...

I knew a guy (I didn't date him, a friend did) who had an entire photo album related to his car...which is okay if you have a kickass car like a 57 Chevy or40 Ford hot rod you restored yourself, but this was a white Ford Fairmont. Honest to God.

fermicat said...

thewritegirl - you're never too smart to be stupid about love.

BC - and we get another Friday the 13th next month.

tiff - nah, I'd remember if the ex-wife-in-law was as cool as you. But yeah, stupid. The lesson learned was the some guys who are fun to date are terrible marriage material, for much the same reasons that make them fun to date.

Dianne - sounds like there are plenty of bad ones to go around!

Kat - he also had a few pictures of that car tucked into the corner of his dresser mirror. And like your situation, it wasn't even that special of a car. Just a camaro or something similar - a new one (at the time), not a classic.

Red said...

fermi I added a Pariba for you to see. Enjolie

Rading the last few comments... are a**hole men just insecure and thus victemize their women?

BC said...

Oh and on another topic, if you need some help with jewelry, let me know. Maybe there can be something we both can make. :D

Word Ver: fitypead

Ha ha ha....