They Say It's Your Birthday

It's my birthday too, yeah.

Really. And I am spending it just like the last six days - eight to twelve hours of heavy studying for the oral boards. But since it is my birthday, and Friday and all that...



This has been the view from my lap most of the week (with notes, book, tea, nice view, and of course Zima the cat). It may look like she's sitting on a stereo receiver, but it is really an electronic cat warming device that happens to play music.

OK, back to my cave. I fly to Louisville tomorrow afternoon. The test is Sunday. See you in June.

Hiatus

Coming out of hibernation just long enough to say "I'm not internetting this week." Test is in seven days. I'm at home this week cramming. So you won't see me out and about until June. Will catch up then.

Back to my cave...

Weirdness on Steroids

My dreams continue to grow more and more vividly bizarre as the studying intensifies and the exam approaches. I can hardly guess what craziness my brain will manufacture next. Imaginative and disturbing, all at the same time. And really, really off-the-charts weird.

Ghost In The Machine?

Physics has invaded my dreams in a big way since I ramped up the studying this month. The weirdest nightmare occurred a few nights ago. I was doing some routine tests on the linear accelerator and it started, well, messing with me. Moving stuff when I wasn't looking, wrecking my test results, making mischief. And then it got nasty. Then the next thing I knew, I was somehow stuck to the gantry head, hanging on for dear life as it rotated around and around, faster and faster. I couldn't jump off without injury, and couldn't make it stop. There are lots of emergency off switches, but none in the head. (In reality, it isn't capable of continuous rotation. It will do a full circle, but only once around so the cables don't get tangled. But since when has reality ever gotten in the way of a vivid dream?) I tried to yell for someone to hit one of those emergency off switches, but could only manage a hoarse whisper. No one could hear me because I was inside the shielded vault without a voice, and the machine was out to get me. Because this linac was evil. Lets just hope the board examiners aren't.

Countdown = 25 days

Five More Weeks

I finally got the official invitation for my third and (hopefully) final board exam -- May 31. Five more weeks. Let the countdown begin. It's crunch time.

Off My Game

Random thoughts from this weekend:

My schedule got all turned around. I wish I knew how to hit the reset. I am feeling pretty restless for 9:45 on a Sunday night.

I got only one of the Final Four teams right. So did President Obama, who knows a thing or two about basketball. I guess I shouldn't feel bad.

It is wonderful to wake up to a thunderstorm and be able to turn over and go back to sleep.

If someone invites you to a Nigerian Engagement Ceremony, you should definitely attend.

At any solemn event, someone's cell phone is sure to ring. Usually this happens multiple times. I can't understand why the first mistake doesn't cause people to check their own phones to make sure it doesn't happen again. Do people not even feel embarrassed about this anymore?

PDM and I still don't like crowds.

A study session with a friend helped me know what I don't know for the board exam. And showed me how inelegantly I answer physics questions out loud. We've got a long way to go to be able to answer smoothly, but it is good to have friends to practice with. It will get better.

We're short-staffed at work for the next week and a half. I hope it's not awful.

Our house isn't going to clean itself. We've given it plenty of chances.

Back to Work

That first full week of work in January is always a bummer. I worked every day that wasn't an actual holiday, but even a couple of days off over two weeks is a treat. Our schedule today is packed, and I expect to be slammed with work this week.

What makes getting back to work worse this year is that it is also time for me to start studying again. The last of the three tests that I must pass to become board certified is coming up in late spring. I am so not ready to hit the books again. Seems like I just got over the last test! All I can do is try to chip away at it a little bit every day until it becomes a habit. At least it won't ruin my summer this time. Gotta look at the bright side...

Finally, it's over.

And now I get my life back.

It was nice having a glass of wine with my lunch. Nice to go enjoy a party tonight, guilt-free. Nice to be able to write this post without feeling like I should be studying, or sleeping. Whew! I can't wait to be totally useless tomorrow - I can sit around the house and waste time all day if I want to. Maybe I will... maybe I won't. But great to have a real choice.

The test went OK, I guess. Not terribly bad, nor terrifically good. I will find out in about four weeks whether or not I did good enough to pass. I am trying hard not to agonize about it and second guess myself to death. I will just say that some questions were ambiguous and that made it tough to make a decision about how to answer.

The Home Stretch

The test is looming in the very near future - Saturday morning, bright and early. The long, hot, miserable summer of study is almost over and I am spending the home stretch at home. I've taken a few days off work for last minute studying.

The plan is to study hard today and tomorrow, and then try to relax on Friday. So far, so good. I covered a lot of ground today and am taking practice tests tonight. It will be hard not to cross over into full on freakout mode by Friday, but I have all that herbal tea to help me. Ha ha. I'm looking forward to things getting back to normal. You know... when I can pound some drinks other than herbal tea.

Thirteen Days

...until I get my life back. The board exam is looming large - Saturday, August 23, 8:00 am (not usually my finest hour).

I've got cabin fever (in August - how sucky is that?), I'm stir crazy, I can't seem to function some days, and there are still nearly two weeks to go in this state. All I do is work, sleep, eat, and study. Well, and watch a little TV from 9-11 some nights. But damn, how boring and restrictive is that? Add to that a huge reduction in alcohol intake and you have a recipe for unhappy.

Aside from radiological physics, I've learned a few other things from this experience. Did you know that Tension Tamer tea can have some unfortunate gastric side effects if you drink 5-6 cups of it in one evening? Consider yourself warned. I suspect that it shares an ingredient or two with "dieters tea". Did you know that learning lots of stuff in one area can make you stupid in others? Well, some days I cannot put together a rational sentence, so there ya go. Did you know that if you stare at a book, your cats will be irresistably drawn to lay on it? OK, I already knew that, but they have confirmed it time and again. If you can learn physics from osmosis, my cats are pretty damned smart.

The only good thing about this weekend was the it was cool and dry enough for me to do my studying on the porch for a change. We turned the A/C off on Friday night and haven't had it on since. It would have been a great weekend for... ah, I won't go there. Lets just say the weather was gorgeous for late summer and I was grateful to be able to hang out on the porch for my miserable marathon study sessions.

Meltdown

It was inevitable.

Yesterday - home sick with migraine (a rare event, me taking a sick day).

Today - worked in spite of dull headache. New equipment training session sprung on me. Was miserable.

Bailed out as soon as I could, and went home to crash. High winds and a power outage woke me up abruptly. A thunderstorm soon followed. The power outage is widespread. I'm irritated because it is hot in the house, and dark. I had planned to have some down time this evening, but sitting around in a hot, dark house is not what I had in mind.

So now I'm at the pub (but not drinking - I cut way back because of studying). Had a hot meal and a club soda and feel marginally better. There is air conditioning, computer access, good eats, trivia and TVs, and a few of our friends are here. But I just sit here huddled over my laptop, not feeling very social. PDM keeps trying to make me feel better, and I keep disappointing him by being non-responsive. I'm stressed and crabby and tired. There is a huge weight on my shoulders and this is not going to change until after my test. I just want to be left alone. (And fed. I like it when he cooks me a nice dinner.) It doesn't help that we keep getting new stuff at work - a major software upgrade next week, plus lots of new hardware. I have to learn all that stuff during the day, then go home and study all of the test material. Some days it is too much.

And if I haven't driven all of my readers away with my pity party post, I promise to post about something other than my stupid test next time.

Four more weeks, err, make that five

Counting down to my board exam. Second of three. I've got cabin fever, but I feel guilty if I am not studying, working, eating or sleeping. Argh!! As usual, the cats are always willing to offer feline assistance, whether you want it or not.

OK, break's over. Back to work!

UPDATED 7/22 because I am stupid and cannot count. It was five weeks from last weekend. Duh.

How to Ruin Your Summer

How? Have a board exam scheduled for late August, the only time of year that the test is offered so you do not have a choice. I'll be taking the second test of three. I passed Part 1 - General and Clinical Physics in 2006. A few of you were around to remember this. This next test is a written (well, computerized) exam covering radiation therapy physics.

Have I mentioned that I hate studying? No? Well, I do. Suffice it to say that there are hundreds of things I'd rather be doing on summer days and nights. But the test is right around the corner and I am out of excuses, so it is time to buckle down.

If all goes well, I will get to take the third and final (oral) exam around this time next year.