It's the cat's ass.

"Nothin' smells like a cat butt!"



Instructions for this product include:

"Hang the butt where it stinks." and "Do not eat."

.

Bad Vibrations

I'm talking intermittent-throughout-the-work-day, long lasting, very low frequency, drives-you-crazy-with-the-deep-humming-sound, rattles-everything-on-your-desk (and your desk too), feeling-it-through-your-feet-and-legs, can't-get-away-from-it-anywhere vibrations that have been occurring at work due to a major construction project across the street. I'm quite certain that this treatment would be an effective means of torture, because it drives. me. crazy. And it has been happening over and over for weeks.

Not sure why, exactly. I drive by that construction site every morning, and it just looks like a big pit with a pickup truck or two, a few construction workers milling around, and a line of port-o-potties. The building that used to be there is long gone, and the blasting stopped months ago. I don't see anything there that looks even remotely rumble inducing. Maybe the Psychology Department is doing an experiment on people cracking up in the workplace due to unexplained, loud rumbly noises that shake the foundation.

I'm not sure which is worse - the low frequency insanity-inducing rumbling or the far-more-frequent-than-is-reasonable testing of the extremely loud and startling fire alarm system. It's a close call. I'll have to go with the fire alarm on safety grounds. (It also scares the shit out of me every single time.) The high frequency of testing is very likely to lead to a "crying wolf" sort of result, where all I would do in the event of a real fire is slam my office door shut in annoyance as I try to reduce the eardrum piercing volume down to something that won't make me cry. It never occurs to me that it could be a real fire. I'm well trained.

Thirteen Days

...until I get my life back. The board exam is looming large - Saturday, August 23, 8:00 am (not usually my finest hour).

I've got cabin fever (in August - how sucky is that?), I'm stir crazy, I can't seem to function some days, and there are still nearly two weeks to go in this state. All I do is work, sleep, eat, and study. Well, and watch a little TV from 9-11 some nights. But damn, how boring and restrictive is that? Add to that a huge reduction in alcohol intake and you have a recipe for unhappy.

Aside from radiological physics, I've learned a few other things from this experience. Did you know that Tension Tamer tea can have some unfortunate gastric side effects if you drink 5-6 cups of it in one evening? Consider yourself warned. I suspect that it shares an ingredient or two with "dieters tea". Did you know that learning lots of stuff in one area can make you stupid in others? Well, some days I cannot put together a rational sentence, so there ya go. Did you know that if you stare at a book, your cats will be irresistably drawn to lay on it? OK, I already knew that, but they have confirmed it time and again. If you can learn physics from osmosis, my cats are pretty damned smart.

The only good thing about this weekend was the it was cool and dry enough for me to do my studying on the porch for a change. We turned the A/C off on Friday night and haven't had it on since. It would have been a great weekend for... ah, I won't go there. Lets just say the weather was gorgeous for late summer and I was grateful to be able to hang out on the porch for my miserable marathon study sessions.

Afternoon Snack

Will somebody please tell my cat she's a carnivore?

Expired

Ignorance is bliss. Turns out I've been driving around with an expired license since my birthday in May. The pollworkers noticed it today when I presented it to vote. Whoops.

Now that I know, I am going to be paranoid until I get it renewed. Which I could have done over the internet, very conveniently, on time, if Georgia had mailed my renewal notice to me like they were supposed to. They probably sent it to my former address. (Yes, I updated my address with them two years ago, but this is the DMV we're talking about.) If they did, I hope those renewal reminders do not contain any useful personal information, and that no one is driving around with my new drivers license.

The Voice of the Braves

The voice of the Braves has been silenced. Skip Caray died on Sunday. He was 68, and had spent 33 years calling games for the Braves.

Lots of people around here remember his enthusiasm and excitement calling the 1992 NL Championship Series: “A lotta room in right-center, if he hits one there we can dance in the streets. The 2-1. Swung, line drive left field! One run is in! Here comes Bream! Here's the throw to the plate! He is ... safe! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win! … Braves win!” I have heard that so many times on the radio or TV over the years that it is etched in my mind. And his excitement in 1995 was infectious: “Mark gets the sign, the wind and the pitch here it is... swung, fly ball deep left center, Grissom on the run... Yes! Yes! Yes! The Atlanta Braves have given you a championship! Listen to this crowd! A mob scene on the field. Wohlers gets 'em one, two, three. A couple of fans rushing on the field. The Atlanta Braves have brought the first championship to Atlanta!” Those were heady times for Braves fans.

Sure, Caray was around for the good years, but he also kept people interested and entertained during all those bad years of the 70s and 80s. His wit and humor were no doubt a big part of the reason that the Braves became “America’s team”. I like that he didn’t make any pretense of being impartial. He also called it like it happened and wasn’t afraid to say what was on his mind, even when his comments were not flattering to the team.

All that said, the memories that stand out in my mind are from much quieter times. After I moved far away from home after college, all the nights I tuned into the Braves game on TBS just to hear the familiar voices from Atlanta, easing my homesickness and lulling me into an “everything is OK” feeling. It worked every time. Thanks for everything, Skip. May you rest in peace.

Nom.